Master Cleanse Diet

The night before day one:

Beginning Weight: 175.4 lbs

Im terrified.
Utterly terrified.
I will weigh myself in the morning to give a real update.
Wish me luck...

Truth

I don't know how to say it
So i will do it in rhyme
Something little, and simple
just to pass the time
Our run was great
We had our fun
But some how
I know its only just begun
And though our nights were short
they left a kiss on my soul
Which makes me have hope
Scary, I know
No promises to recite
No sweet-nothings to produce
But in our bodies
Can each other deduce
A comfort in a caress
and a little hope in a kiss
Makes a little agony
turn into a much needed bliss
Trust me with your time
and have a little faith
that if nothing else
We've at least found this place
Where no one else can tread
And where we both will learn
What it means to trust
And receive Trust in return

Pity

Pity

It’s a hard
Shame
That you feel it
Necessary
To leave
Loved ones
Behind…
Knowing
In your soul
That you have left
Everything that you
Have fought for
You gave up
On a whim
For a
Greedy temptress
That only longs
To taste the
Beat of your
Heart.
She cackles
And controls
The strings of your
Marionette.
A dance that mocks
Us All
Who watch
For fear that your
Last breath
Will condemn
Our Hope
Be careful
Cub
For we might not
Be here
When your strings break
And your descent will
Be watched with great
Hilarity
And we will
sell tickets
to your dying
Agony

Standards

What have you done
to me
my heart
my head
My soul
this feeling,
so foreign.
its worry.
No amount of
apologies
can remedy my
folly
but hope keeps
me going
I swear
A way will be
found
and your trust
restored
but until then
I wait
in agony
hoping the day
will come
when I've become
worthy
or you lower your
standards

A haiku

When the shit gets tough
The crazy get scary
and scary gets clingy
and clingy becomes dependent
And the dependent become obsessed
and the obsessed become insecure
and the insecure get left behind...

fml

The Breakdown

I finally cried the other day.
I was laying in the arms of a dream
but the dream had pot hole and plot holes
Never a beginning or end
Just a common question:
What are we really doing here?
No one wants a Wind up doll that doesn't dance
No longer does a heart reside inside this chest
but a voided chasm which is eating me from the inside out
how did I become this person?
how did I become this thing
Its like I'm dying in the middle of the street
and everyone just keeps walking
So here I fall
passing through the fire to get to the other side
i don't want to have to be that strong
But with my arms wrapped around myself
I cry
and try and believe in a dream
that will never be mine...