Who will remember?

When everything ends
And it all fades away
Who will remember you
And your accusations
Who will care
That you won the fight
Everything ends
And at that end
I find myself
Stepping into the warmth
And take into me
The scent of winter
Im alone now
But free
This is the end.
Who will remember?

This is a good God damned letter that i will never send

Dear Erica, All this mess is becoming ridiculous and irrational. I see what it does to Ricky on a weekly basis and it pains me to realize that this altercation can be avoided.

My Proposition to you: You and I meet for lunch in the next week and figure everything out. I know you have question that i can answer and Vice Versa. Im tired of sitting on the sidelines and seeing people getting unnecessarily hurt.

Granted, I have been a bit tiffy to you recently and I apologize for that. I should have been more mature about things. So let us get together and figure out how we can help one another in this.

Lauren

P.S. I know you will probably take offense to me even trying to contact you, but just consider it. For Ricky's sake.

Decision Decisions...

Learning to let go is a hard lesson to learn. Telling someone that they need to let go is an even a harder lesson to learn. Time to resort to Andais... :)

Female Angst

Well I do believe that some female angst is in order. I have been doing fine for a while. But Male bullshit gets to you after a while. So I have a couple of things to say on the subject. More specifically pointing out certain people.

Andre: "It’s as if they believe their own lies; that this time it will be true love. But it never lasts because no woman is perfect enough for him. Of course, it isn’t the women that aren’t perfect enough; it’s the man. He tries to fill some void in himself with women or sex. If the love is true enough, the sex good enough, then this time he’ll feel complete; this time he’ll finally be whole. Serial womanizers are like serial killers in one respect: they both believe that next time will be perfect; that the next experience will complete them, and stop this unending need. But it never does."
I couldn't have said it better myself. So many times i have gotten into arguments with him on this subject but he still refuses to admit to himself that we all know. That we all know that he is lying and actually laughing behind his back. He just looks like a moron. And he looks even more like a quack when you see him believing these ridiculous stories. Like he has told them so many times that no other way is possible. All I would want fomr him is to atleast admit to himself is that he is a normal human being, just like the rest of us. He is not a warrior, he does not have demon inside him, and he is not the most terrifying mother fucker out there. Is that too much to ask?

Chris:"And after a while he calms down
And he looks at me like a prince
But I know I better bite the bullet
'Cause it's just another one of his
Jedi mind tricks"
So, You like coming back into my life when i have something going that's amazing. And you expect me to run back to you with open arms. Get over it. You had your chance, lost it, threw it in my face, and now you trying to get me back by using the same old lines as before. Honey, I grew up a long time ago and i think that you should quickly follow suit. Cause this make believe shit isn't working for me anymore. Chill out. Your not a wolf. Your not a Vampire. There is nothing between us other than an uncomfortable silence that i'm willing to cut with a knife with the aim of your heart in mind.
We once had it all in a certain time. But that time is long gone. Do us both a favor and realize that.

Thats all of the female angst i have right now. Not bad for it being pinned up for a couple months. I will post more later.

High

Spinning
Trees
Laughing
Snow
feild
house
lost
ocean
white
kight
death
brisge
rmpty
love
alonr
falling
rockets
money
brick
pink
lie
left
behind
screaming
hate
blue
angel
tone
sew
Grin
Game
Re try
jump
run
jump
wall
tower
castle
love
love
love...





my life
in a
selecate
fashion
is stone
forbidden to live
forbidden to
die
never can
I breath this
soul
into exsistance
never again
will i let
you feel
breath
Fight
Love




Ripping me to sheds isnt going to make yourself feel better. You on my mind and you wont go away and i hate you for it. Let me to forget you, make me forget all of you, i scream. You took me away my love, my time, and expect me to survive in the horrible futer? And then punish me for your oversight. Im more than this. Im more than just and oblect to be used as a pawn. I hate this! and as i fall to the ground, I crumble again into to their palms.

Rambling

In bed I
lay
where i wait
someday
for the
dream
to end
and my
reality to
begin
perfect dream
fuzzy dream
marshmallow
bed
sink away
never to be seen
again
in the light
of day
Im safe
here
no lies
no disappointments
just
myself
and
no one
can take that
away

Help

I hate
And i mourn
And i revel
In you
You tear me
to pieces
but you make me
So high
What you do to me
Terrifies
me
and i hate it
But you keep
finding
the
back door
to my soul
and snake
your way
into my
skin
i realize too
late
that your
there
and in that moment
Im
caught
spent
taken away
lost
And i hate you
for it
You make me
strong
but in the way
that i become
so used
to defending myself
when you are around
The doors are
sealed
and locks
have lost their key
but still you insist
on taking
all of
me
And I hate me for it
But i love you cause you break me
What a tangled
web
we weave
Never leave
Never stay
but always be mine
for you are
me
and i am
you
part of each other
we will always
reside
but in my heart a
loathing
so fierce
will consume
my love
and you will be
nevermore....